Chapter 2: Identity and Purpose
A well-known story often told about Thomas Edison
A young boy used to struggle terribly in school. He had trouble focusing, couldn't sit still, and lagged far behind his classmates. His teacher grew so frustrated with him that one day he handed the boy a folded note and said, "Take this home to your mother. Do not open it."
The boy went straight home and handed the note to his mother. As she opened the letter and read it silently, her eyes filled with tears. The boy looked at her and asked, "What does it say? “His mother wiped her tears, looked her son in the eyes, and read the letter out loud to him: "Your son is a genius. This school is too small for him and doesn't have enough good teachers to train him. Please teach him yourself." The boy stopped looking at himself as a failure and started working very hard, experimenting, and studying with the intense focus of someone who knew they were destined for greatness. He went on to become one of the greatest inventors in human history, inventing the lightbulb, the phonograph, and motion picture cameras. Many years later, long after his mother had passed away, the boy found the folded letter from his childhood teacher. He opened it, and read the actual words written on the paper, "Your son is mentally deficient. We cannot let him attend our school anymore. He is expelled."
This story whether true or fictional shows the power of being given another way to see yourself.
Redefining Negative Labels
“A label is a word or phrase used to describe someone based on a characteristic, behaviour, role or perceived quality. Labels can come from others or from ourselves.”
— The Africentric Arts View
People form opinions quickly, and sometimes those opinions become labels. We can also create labels for ourselves based on a mistake, an experience, something we struggle with or what we believe other people think about us.
A student may be described, or may begin describing themselves, as quiet, difficult, lazy, bossy, too sensitive, not academic, a troublemaker or the shy one.
The problem is not simply that a label exists. It is what can happen when one description begins to stand in for the whole person. When a label is repeated or accepted over time, it can influence how others respond to someone and how that person begins to understand themselves.
This can be especially important during adolescence, when identity and self-understanding are still developing. The labels young people accept about themselves can influence how they think about their abilities, behaviour and place among others.
But one behaviour, mistake, experience or characteristic does not explain an entire identity.
A label may describe something about you at one moment without describing all of who you are.
Watch what happens when a description becomes a definition
“I made a mistake.” becomes “I am a failure.”
“I am still learning.” becomes “I am stupid.”
“I am quiet.” becomes “I cannot lead.”
When you or someone else places a label on you, ask yourself:
Is this actually true about me?
Is it always true, or only in certain situations?
What part of me is this label missing?
How would I describe myself instead?
The first statement describes what happened. The second turns it into a judgment about who you are.
Be careful what you turn into a conclusion about yourself. A mistake can teach you. Inexperience can change. A quiet person can still lead.
You are still becoming. Do not let a limiting label write the rest of your story.
Redefining Your Identity
Redefining your identity does not mean pretending your weaknesses do not exist. It means refusing to let one weakness, mistake, experience or opinion define your entire identity. It requires being intentional about how you see yourself and who you are becoming. You can recognize what needs growth while also recognizing the strengths, abilities and possibilities a label may have overlooked.
Now take one old label and rewrite it in a way that is more accurate, constructive and complete.
Old Label
Stubborn
Shy
Difficult
Too emotional
Bossy
Inexperienced
Failure
Redefined
Persistent
Thoughtful and observant
Independent and willing to question
Empathetic
Comfortable taking initiative
Still developing
Someone who experienced a setback
Knowledge Check
